Wet 'n' Wild

We've been experiencing some pretty crazy behaviour from Mother Nature just recently. 

Our beautiful region of the world can be prone to flooding at times, although we hadn't had a big one for a while. The last flood to reach "major" levels was in 2013. Since then, we've had the occasional "minor" flood and a few bad storm events, but that's about it.

That has all changed in the past three weeks. The amount of rain to fall in our area has been phenomenal, just as it has been in many other parts of  Eastern Australia. Our local river rose up to its second highest level ever recorded - the highest being way back in 1893. 

Of course, there are now many more homes and businesses than there were then, and the lie of the land has changed, with development, land clearing, etc. This means some areas that have never flooded before were inundated. Plus, with the flood being so much higher than anyone could remember, the force of the water wreaked more havoc on the landscape than we've ever seen. 

There are a lot of newcomers to the area, who had no real experience of what our floods can be like, so to be here for such a big one must have been a shock to many. Even as long-time locals, this huge flood was a new one on us. Many parts of the region lost power for multiple days and were cut off from local towns by flooded roads for longer than ever before. 

We personally have been very fortunate. We live on high ground - purely by chance. With the rental market the way it has been for the past couple of years, we had to take any house we could get and we wouldn't have bothered questioning at the time whether it was above the flood line. We also were lucky to only lose power for a few hours. Our suburb was cut off from the main town, but we had access to a local shop and, even though most of their shelves were bare, there was enough for what we needed. 

As a general rule, after a flood we have hot, sunny weather. This time we had ongoing rain and storms, which has affected the region's recovery. The river went down after a couple of days so roads and bridges opened up, but the ongoing bad weather meant access to some areas kept getting cut again. It's only over the past week that the rain has really cleared properly and given people the chance to clean up the debris and see exactly what they're dealing with.

What many are dealing with, of course, is the loss of all their belongings, as well as homes that are unrecognisable. Many of these buildings are unsalvageable, or at the very least, cannot be repaired until insurance assessors have been through and given the stamp of approval. More people have been left homeless, adding to the already shocking housing crisis in the area.

Despite all the hardship though, there have been glints of light shining through. The way our community pulls together at times like these always leaves me in awe. A number of flood relief centres have been set up and have been swamped (pardon the pun) with donations from the public. Social media pages are filled with people looking to help others in any way they can. The army came to town - boy, can they work hard! The amount they've achieved in their time here has been impressive, to say the least. 

It takes time to recover from an event like this, but it's heartening to see how everyone works together to get through it. I thought it was beautiful to see someone on a local Facebook page suggest that any donated items we have left over should be sent on to communities in New South Wales, where the flood was so much worse than here. 

We really are very lucky to live in a great community. 

Getting Back Into It

We had a very casual start to the new year. Well, I did at least. I was on Annual Leave from the 15th of January to the 3rd of February. It was two and a half weeks of relaxation and just letting the world go by. 

I love my job, but it's nice to have a break from it. In fact, I took this opportunity to have a break from everything. I didn't go anywhere or spend time catching up with many people - COVID is too much of a concern (and that's a great excuse for holidaying at home anyway!). The only person I really saw was one of my sisters, who came to stay for a week and always just slots in like one of the family. We drank coffee, did some gardening, and lots of talking. 

It's lovely to just take time for me. It's not something I do often, or easily. My wonderful Caveman gave me a laptop for Christmas, and I only started spending time with it on this break. Like most mums, I tend to put off doing something I might enjoy in favour of getting the laundry or shopping done first. I also don't accept help easily, from my husband or anyone else. Maybe I just don't have faith that chores will be done the way I like them! I am also accustomed to taking things on so that the Caveman doesn't have to wear himself out - it's a role I developed over years of him suffering chronic fatigue. Nowadays his energy levels are generally better, so I'm aware that it kind of undermines him when I do this, but undoing the habit is taking some time.

Thanks to COVID, school started back two weeks late this year, so I also got to spend this time with my youngest Caveman. I've commented before that I worry he hasn't had as much of my time as the other kids got, as I went back to work just as he was starting school. Having said that, it has actually been good for him to not be able to rely on me for everything. In many respects, he is more independent than his older siblings were at this age. I'm also aware that many mums have to go back to work when their children are much younger, so I was really very lucky - or stubborn!

When I was a child, my mum often spoke of "latch-key kids" and her determination that her own children would never have to arrive home after school to an empty house. It was very important to her that we always have a parent at home through the day and I guess I came into motherhood with a similar mindset. I did love being a stay-at-home mum and I clung to that until I absolutely had to go back to work. In fact, if I'd taken the plunge sooner, we would probably have been in a better position now. When we had to sell our house and go back to renting in 2011, we were both unemployed and - at that time - had no clear prospects ahead of us. However, there is nothing to be gained by regretting past decisions. We all do what we feel is right for us at the time.

I do make sure that my hours are compatible with the times I really want to be at home. I'm fortunate that my job allows for some flexibility, so I start after I've done the morning routine and school run. The finish time doesn't matter as much because the Caveman does the afternoon pickup, but I'm usually done between 4 and 5 pm. I also work every second weekend and the hours are longer then, but we have very few commitments on the weekends these days, so that suits us. 

I've had moments I've resented having to go to work - which I know everyone can relate to! After years of helping in the classroom, or going along to watch my husband and eldest son play their cricket matches on the weekends, it was difficult to adjust to not being available for those things anymore. Also, when I was working in a residential facility, the shift times were not flexible at all ... so if I had a 6.30 am start or a 10.30 pm finish, we just had to deal with it. 

Sometimes I can't believe I've been an aged care worker for nearly 8 years already. The time really has flown by and occasionally I do wonder what I might do next. I know I won't be in this job forever; the work can be mentally and physically exhausting, especially now I'm going through peri-menopause at the same time. I take great pride in my job, but I need to put my health first. I recently dropped my hours back so that I'm working less days per week. Of course there has been a dip in our finances as a result, so that's always a balancing act.

Having said all that, my couple of weeks off was so relaxing that I felt like I'd been on holiday for a month! I went back to work incredibly refreshed. I was happy to see my regular clients again and I know they are happy to have me back. 

My son is at school today and my daughter finished her short holiday as well, so it feels like we're all back into the swing of things for the new year.

Happy 2022!

As we begin a new year, it seems a good time to reflect on the ups and downs of recent times. Moving on from our own personal trials, such as the fire and its aftermath, moving house, etc, there has also been so much turmoil around the country and the rest of the world.

Employment opportunities have been scarce for anyone looking for work. Housing shortages have put entire families out on the street or in a caravan in someone else's back yard. Being unable to travel has not only disrupted holiday plans, but also affected working situations for many. 

We postponed a trip we had booked, to Western Australia. We were devastated to have to give it up. It is a rare thing for us to go on holiday anywhere, so this was going to be a real treat. However, there have certainly been other people in a worse position than us, being kept separated from loved ones, so we put our disappointment aside and now can only hope that things run more smoothly later this year, when we plan to take the trip we've postponed.

Of course, one of the least enjoyable aspects of the COVID 19 pandemic has been the arguing between pro-vaccine and anti-vaccine supporters. It doesn't seem to matter which side of the fence you sit on, there is someone prepared to attack your opinion. I've been saying for ages that I'm pro-vax but also pro-choice. I do believe that everyone should be free to choose whether they have the vaccine or not. Having said that, if the vaccine is the only way to protect most of the population from the more nasty affects of the virus, I can understand why mandates have been brought in to give a push to those who are still hesitant. I do not understand people who will turn to the health system when they need medical advice but then refuse to believe the advice on vaccines. I try not to even engage with people who share YouTube clips featuring discredited or fake scientists, trying to convince everyone that the virus is a hoax or that the government is out to control or even "kill off" sections of the population.

I've watched former friends disappear down the rabbit hole of conspiracy theories long before COVID 19 was impacting our lives, so I'll admit my patience on that front has worn pretty thin. I have seen too many friendships and even family relationships badly affected because some people just can't agree to disagree.

We've been so lucky to not be too badly affected by virus cases in our little corner of the world. It does mean that many people here are quick to rubbish the idea of masks, checking in and getting the vaccine, but the tide is slowly turning, now that we are seeing the virus begin to spread here as well. The only impact it's had on our family directly, so far, is that our eldest boy couldn't come home for Christmas. One of his housemates was classed as a "close contact" of someone who tested positive, so their entire household had to isolate together for the Christmas period. It was a bit sad to not see him, but we know we'll catch up again soon.

No doubt the virus will be around for some time to come, but as we enter into the new year our personal plan is to focus on more positive topics. Family is still, as always, the most important thing. We've been quite self-focused in the past 12 months, with everything that has happened. We closed ranks and sheltered each other from the outside world. Now, we feel ready to get more involved with other people again. The Caveman has been joining more social groups and I've been reconnecting with some of my old friends. We both know it's important that we develop our own interests and social lives outside of the family as the kids get older.

We genuinely hope the year ahead holds good fortune and happier times for everyone we know and love.

Rising Again

In the past 10 months, there have been times I've thought, "I should do another blog post". Then I'd log on and see the last one, with the fire, and it would
take the wind right out of my sails.

The first half of this year was incredibly hard. The fire took a massive toll on us. After weeks of back and forth with the insurance company, trying to prove what we owned and that it was all IN the shed, we finally got a payout - which then wasn't as much as we had hoped for. It helped, certainly, but it didn't cover much of what we'd lost. Then it was two whole months
before the shed was demolished. Eight weeks of having the burnt-out shell sitting, roped off, in the yard. We couldn't walk, or even look, out the back of the house without being confronted by it. We all felt guilt for the fire happening, while still trying to come to terms with everything we'd lost.

The official fire report came as a complete shock - it was along the lines of "We can't determine for sure what started the fire, but hey, the police report said the kids had a smoking area nearby, so let's just go with that being the most likely cause". As a result, the homeowner's insurer decided that we owed them the amount they'd paid out to the owners for the loss of the shed. It was double what we'd got from our insurer - which we have nothing left of anyway, because we did what we were supposed to do and spent it on replacing what we could. That caused major stress for us, but the insurance companies are apparently battling it out between themselves in court.

These are all things I think of now whenever I hear there has been a fire. The "aftermath" stuff that no one ever knows about unless they experience it.

Our landlords got their payout for the shed and planned to build a new one, then decided to just put the house on the market instead. We could see their reasoning; they could keep the money from the shed, sell the house (for a great price in the current market) and be well on the way to financial freedom. I mean, of course that's the obvious way to go. It just put us in a terrible position. For rental tenants, this year has been the worst for finding a new place to live. We had visions of ending up camped by the river, like so many others in our area. The owners also still needed to do work on the house, which they'd been renovating since we moved in, so we had them around us regularly while we were all dealing with the fallout from the fire. They said we didn't have to rush to move, but really? By that stage, we just wanted to be out of there.

With the emotional toll of everything we were dealing with, and the unexpected death of a very dear friend, my Caveman became totally overwhelmed. He plunged into a deep, at one stage suicidal, depression. Unfortunately, I was struggling to cope with everything too, so our marriage was rocky for a while and that took a bit of clawing back. Without the support of his psychologist, I'm not sure he'd still be here now, or that we'd be together.

So far, so miserable, right?

Luckily, things did start to turn around and the second half of the year has definitely been better. Our eldest son moved with friends to another town, three and a half hours away. Initially, this felt like another blow, but he was stepping well out of his comfort zone by moving so far away from us and it has really paid off for him. The job opportunities are much better there, so he has worked solidly since arriving 6 months ago. We miss him but we all visit each other when we can and he seems more mature and confident each time.

Just a couple of days before the fire, our Cavegirl had transitioned from being an assistant at a local salon to beginning a hairdressing apprenticeship. She has done a great job of sticking with it during all the turmoil and really seems to have found the right job and social network for herself. Like her big brother, her maturity and confidence has impressed us as the year has gone on.

Our "littlest" Caveman, now 6'3" (nearly as tall as his brother!), has shown maturity beyond his 14 years. He kept checking on the rest of us after the fire, as if it were his job to make sure everyone was alright. We got him some counselling to make sure he was okay, but he is fine. He focuses on living a typical teenage life, pushing the usual boundaries, but we're really very close.

We were incredibly fortunate to be approved for another rental house, which we moved into in early July. We love our new house. It's a 1980's home, so it feels roomy and comfortable, with a big yard and gardens we enjoy looking after. We are still "townies", but we have always liked this area. Moving here felt like a fresh start so we have made the most of it. The Caveman's mental health has improved so much and I am now on hormones for my menopause, which means we are both in a better place emotionally. I've cut back my work hours a little, we're living a healthier lifestyle and making more time for each other. Our relationship is much better than it was and we're back to enjoying the time we spend together.

Moving house swallowed up the last of the money we had left from our insurance payout and we still have to wait and see what the outcome is of the upcoming court case, but in the meantime we are focused on living day to day. We keep getting rid of clutter. We all joke that losing so much in the fire was a great way to downsize in a hurry and it's inspired us to have less "stuff". Of course it's not funny, but if we didn't laugh, we'd cry for everything we lost. We salvaged a few precious things from the rubble, but I haven't sorted through very much of it yet. The burnt smell bothers me. For months after the fire, I would wake in the middle of the night and panic, thinking the house was burning down. I'm a lot better now, but fear of fire will probably be with me - all of us - for a long time yet. We are still on friendly terms with our previous landlords, although we prefer not to dwell on how things have worked out for them compared to us. It's not helpful. I'd rather focus on gratitude and optimism.

To use a clichè, we do feel like we're rising from the ashes. There is so much to be thankful for and - fingers crossed! - a bright future still ahead.

Silver Linings

Our new year has been very eventful. After a wonderful, happy Christmas, we settled in for the new year and then everything went to pieces. It's been a dramatic start, to put it mildly. I'm not even really sure where to start, so I'll just jump right in...

Our new house came with a very large detached timber shed in the back yard, which we stored a lot of our belongings in. Mostly items we couldn't move into the house yet as the landlords have been painting and decorating around us. In the early hours of last Tuesday morning, that shed went up in flames.

It's not something that really had any publicity - it got a very short local article as "shed burns down", which made it sound like a small garden shed. We haven't made a huge deal of it either so, apart from a couple of nosy people driving slowly down the street to try and see where the fire happened, we've been left alone by everyone. Which is lovely, actually. That in itself has been an eye opener for the kids in the importance of keeping a distance after something like this happens to someone. Not family or friends, obviously, of course we love seeing them and having support. But it's a stressful time and the last thing anyone needs is random strangers or media just wanting the gory details of what happened.

As for the obvious question - how did it start? Well, heartbreakingly, our older kids spent a couple of days blaming themselves. They had a hangout area behind the shed and they were worried they'd accidentally left a mosquito coil burning, which may have ignited something that spread to the building. They were honest about it with the fire investigators and police, and were assured they weren't in any trouble, but they were naturally distressed to think they may have been responsible.

However, the landlord's insurance assessor and the fire investigators have since said that they believe it more likely started IN the shed; an electrical fault maybe? Looking more closely at the burnt out shell, I can see why they've drawn that conclusion ... the area of the shed closest to where the kids hung out doesn't have as much damage as other areas do. That, at least, is reassuring - it's been distressing to see how the kids' mental health is affected when they blame themselves for something like this.

So, on the practical side of things, the landlords shouldn't have any trouble with their insurance and we have contents insurance, so we are following up with ours too. We had around half of all we our belongings in that shed - not just tools and garden equipment, but so many things just not needed in the house yet. Boxes of craft items, some linen and clothing, books, camping and fishing gear, sports equipment, cooking gear and electrical appliances, dart boards, pool table, paintings, etc.

Of course, the worst things to have lost - which insurance really can't help with - are the sentimental things. Hundreds of photos and albums, our wedding memorabilia, family history records, sports trophies, items that belonged to the Caveman's Dad and my Mum before they passed away. Absolutely priceless treasures, to us.

Obviously the most important thing is that we're all physically okay and it didn't spread to the house. We're traumatised, certainly. It was the most surreal thing to stand there and watch the shed burn; we all felt absolute dread. We won't easily forget being woken by the neighbours banging on the door to tell us there was a fire. We will be forever grateful to the firefighters, who stopped it spreading to the house (or anywhere else!). We are totally in awe of what those guys do, they are worth their weight in gold. Our landlords have been great too.

I am currently on leave from work - not because of the fire; this break was already planned. However, I'd had intentions of sorting more of our belongings into the house, visiting family, relaxing and having fun. Now I'm just feeling a bit lost. There is nothing left anymore for me to bring in from the shed. I've caught up with only a couple of family members, as I don't really feel like being particularly sociable. I also don't know if the Caveman and I can leave the house for long while we're still dealing with insurance assessors and unsure of when someone will come to demolish what is left of the shed. We're all tired, stressed out and sick of looking at (and smelling) the charred remains of so much of our stuff.

Right now we're holding each other close, getting through it with humour and treasuring every sentimental thing we come across. It's been somewhat of a relief to discover a number of precious items I didn't realise I had already moved into the house.

It is in my nature to look for the silver linings. Admittedly, that's not always easy when we've lost so much, but we are also aware that it all could have been much worse. The house is fine and no one was injured.

We know we will be okay ... it just might take a while to recover from this.

Townies

I'm aware that no one reads my blog regularly - maybe one or two friends check in occasionally - and it means that I can easily step away and forget about it while I get on with life. So I do apologise if I have any ghost followers out there who were hanging out for an update, haha.

In these past few months, while the world has been in turmoil with COVID, we experienced a number of changes. Yes, my menopause journey, as per my previous blog post. But also, our two older children managed to find jobs that they both love. After quite a long period out of work for them both, I am proud of the work ethic they have and the confidence they've gained. They have really impressed me with their attitudes and how grown up they've become, after all the dramas of those turbulent teenage years.

Our youngest, meanwhile, is really coming into his own as a teenager - the moodiness has definitely arrived, although the sweetness of my "not so little" boy (he's nearly 6 feet tall now) still shows through at times. He was more pleased than we expected to get back to normal school when it opened up again and his report card for last term was definitely an improvement on previous ones. Of course, now he's just excited to be on Christmas holidays.

The biggest news for us - as shown by the picture above - is that we have moved house. We were in the old house for nearly 7 years and, while we loved living there, as renters we are at the mercy of the landlords. They needed to get the place ready to sell, so we had to go. It's not as nasty as that might sound - they were great to us but we knew for a while that this was on the cards. The rental market is terrible just now, so it's a scary time to be looking for another house. There are very few houses available and the ones that are usually get dozens of applications from potential tenants. We were very concerned about how we might go finding another place.

Luckily, we were offered a house by a friend. So we have left our 'semi rural' house to move back into town, closer to everything. We miss having all that country space around us (and that view!) but we're also enjoying the convenience that comes with being 'townies' again; easier access to shops, school and other facilities. The house backs onto a park, so that gives us a little more breathing room, and the home has a lovely feel to it. The owners are doing some renovations around us (painting, new bathroom, etc), so settling in has been a slow process, but the house is coming along nicely and we love living here so far.

Our plans to move completely away from the area are currently on hold, but that comes down to other factors too - the Caveman being off work at the moment with a back problem, the kids all wanting to stay here for now, a lack of funds available for moving further away to a more expensive area. It's not off the table for the future, but this is where we'll stay for the time being. We are honestly just grateful to have somewhere to live and incredibly thankful that things have fallen into place up to this point.

So that's our crazy family update. There always seems to be something going on with us ... but we manage to find a way through and our first priority is always each other x

It's the Change!

We've had a bit going on ... for a number of months now! I'll try to ignore that my last blog post was in May (!) and just focus on catching up on all our recent events over the next few posts.

First of all, the joys of growing (just a little) older. It seems I've hit a new stage in my life ... one that all women go through between the ages of 45 and 55, on average. Yes, I'm apparently experiencing "the menopause". Or showing pre-menopausal symptoms, at least.

I realised what was happening back in August and, due to living in a COVID-affected world, I had to book a phone appointment with my doctor. When he rang, I was able to tell him exactly what I had. It was a simple call; I listed my symptoms and he said, "Yes, that sounds like menopause." I mean, obviously he asked questions to rule out other possible causes - but that was the outcome.

On a side note: I discovered that not being face-to-face with the doctor meant I was more comfortable going into personal details than I would normally be. I wonder if this is the case for other people? Are doctors hearing more about their patients now than they ever have before? It must have been quite an adjustment for them too.

I announced to my family that I was embarking on the roller coaster known as menopause, as you do. Well, as I do. (Thanks Mum, again. I was raised to not keep this stuff to myself!).

I like for the kids to be informed so they know what to expect. The eldest son said, "Oh no, I had hoped to be moved out before you hit this stage."
Well, thank you son. I know who I'm taking my unpredictable moods out on first.

The youngest said, "Haha, you're old".
Yes, he's on the list too.

My husband, usually a man of reasonable intelligence, chuckled at me taking my jacket off, putting it back on, taking it off again (damn these hot flushes!).

My list of people I'm allowed to growl at is growing.

The only person with the good sense to not make fun of me was my daughter - perhaps because she knows it will be her one day.

In seriousness though, so far I feel I'm coping well. I've had a few women share their experiences with me, so I know how different it can be for each of us. I feel like my attitude is generally positive, although my fuse can be a little shorter (just ask my family!). I was worried about having hot flushes in Summer - back in August they were pretty easy to deal with - but when we had a heatwave last weekend, I felt it was manageable (enough). I kept asking everyone "Is it just me? Or is everyone feeling this?". I'm keeping up with my exercise and a healthy diet. We've had a lot of things going on, so I've learned to be better at taking "me" time when I feel a bit overwhelmed.

It doesn't bother me to be getting older - I know I'm still young at heart, where it really counts. And the Caveman, who hates a breeze of any kind in the bedroom while he's sleeping, is learning to live with open windows and a fan on!