Learning Together

Ah, the joys of homeschooling.

Of course, it's been suggested we don't use that term. Our kids are "Learning at Home", using resources sent by their real school teachers. We parents are just here for guidance.

Here in Queensland (and I believe this goes for most of Australia at the moment) during this pandemic, parents have been asked to keep their kids at home for learning if they are able to. Schools are officially only open for students whose parents are essential workers or who have no other option. The Caveman and I are both essential workers, so we are in the category of parents who are encouraged to send their kids to school - and we were going to. Really, it would have been great to wave the youngest Caveman off on the first day back after the Easter holidays.

However, when we saw his report card from last term it was time for a serious discussion. He's never had a deep desire to be at school and has always had trouble concentrating and getting his work done. Unfortunately, being nearly thirteen, if he doesn't knuckle down now, he'll never catch up. We asked him what HE would rather do and he chose to try doing his school work at home. The Caveman's work hours have dropped a bit since all this started, so we knew there would be a parent at home for at least three days each week. Our two older children were happy to pick up the slack for the other couple of days, since they are currently housebound too. Our hope was that maybe, with a bit more one-on-one guidance, he would pick the work up more quickly.

So far, our theory seems to be working. It's a challenge at times, because he just doesn't have much interest in school work and can be quite stubborn about getting it done. However, those "lightbulb moments", when we can see him grasping the lesson, are totally worth it! It takes more time than we thought it would too - because it's high school there is an expectation that more work will be completed each day than you might expect for younger children. There might also be a non essential subject or two that he will fall further behind in, because we'd rather focus on the ones that really matter (Maths, English, Science, etc). We have had to remind him at times that this was his choice and he has to show some responsibility and get the work done, but for the most part he is enjoying doing his school work this way.

We get to have great conversations with him about subjects related to what he is learning and just spend more time with him, which he is definitely appreciating. If we see his eyes glazing over, he gets some outside time to kick a soccer ball around with his big brother (jokingly referred to as the PE teacher) and comes back refreshed. He also still keeps in touch with his friends from school, who are in the same situation - I never thought I'd be so grateful they all have mobile phones and internet!

The biggest thing that has struck me about our boy learning at home is that I am so impressed with his teachers. Not because I suddenly realise how difficult their job is - I have friends who are teachers, so I already knew. But because these people have had to adjust their whole working style to suit the current circumstances. We see them now making their own videos for students to watch online, lessons are adjusted to include family members and they are available for online chats to answer questions and help guide all of us through this challenging time. I think the teachers have coped with this incredibly well and I admire them all for stepping up.

I can't speak for every family - I know many parents are struggling - but we are actually enjoying this time and making the most of it.

Easter is a Little Cracked

Welcome to Easter weekend, and what an unusual one! Okay, it's not that weird for us - we've never been a family that heads out for a camping weekend over Easter, or has a big family and friends get-together around a barbeque.

In the past month or so the world has seen some incredible changes, thanks to this coronavirus. Here in Australia, we seem to be a little more protected - we certainly haven't seen the massive number of infections and deaths that some places are having to deal with. It probably helps that we tend to live in a more "spread out" fashion. We aren't crammed together like you see in some of those huge apartment blocks that you see elsewhere in the world. There are countries where you aren't allowed to visit ANYONE. At all. Not even allowed to leave your house without an official piece of paper explaining why you're out and where you're going to. Proper lockdowns.

For us, for now at least, it's not that harsh. We can still get out and do necessary things, although any trip deemed "non essential" could earn a fine from the police. We can still go for a walk around our neighbourhood, as long as we're keeping the required minimum of 1.5 metres from any other person. Of course there are plenty of people not doing the right thing, which is making everyone look bad (and pissing everyone else off, actually). Most of us are working together to try to "stop the spread". That's one of the terms we hear all the time now, along with "social distancing" and "self isolation". Now of course, there's also "toilet paper shortage". Who would have predicted that?

So this Easter is a "stay at home" weekend. No problem for us ... we are a family of introverts. We'd rather stay home most of the time anyway! The Caveman and I are still working, as we're both in essential jobs (another catchphrase). However, his hours have dropped dramatically and mine are just starting to do the same, as most of our clients are self isolating and not requiring as many services outside the home now. It would be a great time to clear out the house and work on any projects in the home and garden, except that going out for hardware, or to drop items off at the rubbish dump or second hand shops is considered non essential travel (and some of these are closed now anyway).

I am aware that this is a very difficult time for lots of people. Many have lost their jobs - and for anyone not already familiar with our welfare system, this will be a real eye-opener! People in abusive relationships or unhappy families are going to suffer, with everyone stressing over money and getting on each other's nerves day after day in the house together. There is still concern about whether kids should be going to school or whether we should all be tackling some form of homeschooling.

At the same time, I do get annoyed with people complaining about the little things, like the fact that they can't go camping, or that most beaches are currently closed to anyone who isn't local to that area. I think we're so lucky that we have TV, computers, smartphones and social media - it's easier than ever to get news updates, to stay entertained and also to keep in touch with friends and family members. Not to mention there's always reading, gardening, cooking and craft. Maybe I'll find more time to write?

We have a bit of a road ahead of us yet, so we might as well settle in and get as comfortable as we can. Make the most of this time with your family and maybe we'll all learn to enjoy the little things in life a bit more. In the meantime, there's Easter ... I hope you have enough toilet paper and chocolate (and good humour) to see you through!

Make the Most of It

I can't believe we're almost through February already. The year has really only just begun and it's already flying by! All thoughts of Christmas presents and New Year's resolutions are long gone and we're all into whatever our next plans are.

Our year has already had some sad news - my older sister's wonderful husband unfortunately passed away after being diagnosed with a brain tumour late last year. He was only in his early fifties and probably had all sorts of plans for the future. It sparked even more awareness in me that we really do spend so much of our lives planning for the future with little awareness of just how little time we might have to make the most of those plans.

Not that I've been able to suddenly ditch work and start traveling or anything crazy like that - that's not where this is going. I still have bills to pay! I'm just making more of a conscious effort to enjoy my time NOW.

Do what I love and love what I do, appreciate every moment ... that sort of thing. It's not always easy, because everyday life can be a drag sometimes, but it's worth making the effort while you can. It's also important to not get bogged down in thinking that enjoying life has to involve significant or expensive changes. It can be really simple things.

I'm being more active, but also making the most of quiet "down time" when I have it. I'm appreciating nature, using more humour and not engaging as much in stressful conversations. I've discovered I'm also channeling my mother more, maybe because I miss her but also because she was never afraid to be herself and I miss that about her.

Actually, my younger sister commented recently that she is doing the same - we've both become more like Mum since she passed away. It's funny how we can take on certain qualities from those we love who have passed, and use them for positive change in our own lives.

This can be a good or a bad thing, depending on your point of view. I think we're both a little more outgoing now, which is great, but we've also adopted some of Mum's "no filter" quality that used to fascinate (and horrify!) us when we were out in public with her. We both get a chuckle out of it and honestly, I think it's a good thing. Life is too short to not be honest.

At my brother in law's funeral, my older sister (his wife) told us she is now looking at every issue that arises in her life using his experience; she calls it "Chris's Law". I'm paraphrasing here, but it basically goes: If you knew you only had three months to live, how much would this particular problem really matter?

He was always a pretty easy going guy anyway, the kind who took problems in his stride and could figure out what was really worth getting stressed about. But now, his family is using his death as a reminder to themselves to appreciate what really matters and not get too worked up over the rest.

Sounds like a good plan to me. Rest easy, Chris, and give Mum a hug for us xx

Happy New Decade!

It's time for another new year. A whole new decade, in fact. Like nervous and excited young adults, we're leaving the teen years behind and entering the '20's!

This past decade was a big one for us. The first ten years of the millenium had been all about having babies, renovating and selling homes, learning to manage a family budget - basically being proper adults. We also had extra hurdles thrown in, such as the Caveman's chronic fatigue, my post natal depression and some poor financial situations. It was a challenging, but mostly fun, 10 year period as we grew our young family.

This 'teen years' decade has actually been more solemn in many ways. It feels like we've had to grow up.

We farewelled some really important people, beginning with the Caveman's Dad in January 2010. His was the first major death we'd ever had to deal with; we were his 'next of kin' and had to take responsibility for all the official death-related tasks, as well as dealing with our own grief and guiding our small children through theirs as well.

Closer to this end of the decade of course, two years ago we lost my Mum, which was another devastating blow to us all. The Caveman's best friend also passed away recently and, in the past few years, our older two children have each lost friends they cared deeply for, to different illnesses.

Aside from the sad goodbyes of the decade, money problems meant we had to sell our house in 2011. Worse, we weren't in a position to buy again, so we accepted defeat and went back to renting. That was depressing. Then our older children hit their teen years and it felt like everything went to shit, to put it bluntly. Having teenagers gave us entirely new challenges and conflicts to deal with, as they navigated moods, grief, mental health issues, bullying, sexuality, academic struggles, unemployment, etc, etc. Seriously, the list could go on for days.

At times we've struggled within our relationship. More than once it felt as if we were both hit with struggles at every turn. Too many financial and emotional issues can put immense pressure on the strongest marriage. If it wasn't for us both being exceptionally determined to work on it, I'm sure it would have been over. We've also recently discovered the Caveman is on the autistic spectrum, which is another learning curve for us all - but that one warrants its own blog post at another time.

It hasn't all been doom and gloom though - of course there have been good things to come out of this decade. The Caveman became better at managing his chronic fatigue and in 2013 we both took the plunge into study and back into the workforce. I completed my Aged Care course and have honestly never looked back. It's a real joy to be able to say I love my job. The Caveman did a business course and then ended up taking a job in the disability support industry. It was an unexpected path for him, but one which he also loves and is grateful to have discovered. It hasn't improved things financially as much as we'd hoped, as they're not the best paid jobs, but we're getting there.

The older kids have grown into well adjusted and beautiful young adults. We are immensely proud of who they have both become after all they've been through. We know we're approaching the 'empty nest' phase with these two, so we appreciate every moment we get to spend with them. On the other hand, our youngest still has the teen years to come - we're taking a big calming breath and crossing our fingers as that approaches!

We are happy renting, with no plans to buy another house in the future. We are also now considering a move away from the area we've lived in for 30 years and raised our children in, which is kind of scary and exciting at the same time. It's something we talked about doing years ago, but the circumstances were never quite right. Maybe this year?

We've had precious times with family and friends, become more confident within ourselves and dealt with some pretty big issues better than we might have expected. All in all, we feel pretty positive. No doubt the next few years will also bring lots of challenges and some more grief too, but we are generally optimistic and look forward to what's coming for us in the next decade.

Here's to a happy new year!

CHRISTMAS!*

I'm a little late this year. Usually I'd have a blog post up before Christmas, but I ran out of time. I couldn't shop early, thanks to unexpected expenses creating a major money shortage in our house. Then, when I had money to spend, I was too busy with work to get to the shops when I needed to. I also had to pop out a few times in the last couple of days just to get things I'd forgotten, which took away from the amount I could do at home in the approach to the big day. In the end, the blog had to take a back seat to everything else that needed to be done.

I actually recall writing something very similar last year, so maybe this level of disorganisation in the lead up to Christmas is my "new normal".
I hope not!

Anyway, just like last year, it all turned out fine. I was still tidying the living room when guests arrived and most of the food didn't even make it into the oven until after we'd all opened our presents, but it was a lovely casual day. There was laughter and great conversation, and we all genuinely enjoyed each other's company - which is kind of an added bonus to your children getting older, I suppose. Our eldest two are 20 and 18, so we can have proper grown-up banter with them. Our 12 year old manages to keep up pretty well too.

Of course, this Christmas in Australia has a tinge of sadness to it - much of our focus has been on the bushfires; the people who have lost their homes and families who have lost loved ones. We live in a semi-rural area ourselves and have experienced smoke haze from nearby fires a number of times now. Thankfully the past couple of days have been quite cool and there is even a hint of rain around. We would love rain, as we have to buy household water when our tank gets low, but it would be especially nice if it could fall where it's really needed to help put the fires out.

There are usually positives to be found, even when things seem gloomy. Our native wildlife are popping up all over the media and melting hearts. Koalas seem to be the most prominent just now, but losing so many means there is a push for awareness and to help the surviving population (and their habitat) to recover, so if there is a silver lining, I guess that's it. Our rural firefighters are inspirational, volunteering their time even at Christmas to keep people's homes safe. There have been lovely stories coming out about some of their interactions with the wildlife, but also with homeowners, who are so grateful that there are people willing to help protect their property.

One a lighter note and closer to home, my own personal heroes are our garbage collectors, who worked on Christmas morning. I had the day off and certainly wouldn't have minded if they had as well.

I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas day and took time to be thankful for the things (and people) who really matter to them x


*Edited a week later, because I forgot to add a title! What did I say about being disorganised? 😉

Not the Running Part!

My children are not all sports-minded. Yes, we have an adult son who is committed to his cricket, and it's great. We love seeing his pride in his ability, as well as the satisfaction that he gets from contributing to the result when the team does well. We also see the frustration when he hasn't had a good day at cricket or if the team has done poorly.

Just recently he came home from a day of cricket with a hand injury - he'd split the webbing between his thumb and forefinger. OUCH. Don't worry, it makes me cringe just thinking about it too. It didn't look pretty, but he had it bandaged up by someone at the ground and continued to play. Yep, you read that right. Continued to play. I didn't even know about the injury until he got home that night and showed it to me.

It probably could have done with a stitch or two in it, but it was already late and he didn't feel like going to the hospital and waiting to be seen. We agreed it would probably heal just fine on its own, as long as he looked after it - with the warning that if I saw any sign of infection, I'd have him straight to the doctor. Anyway, he promised he would be diligent about looking after it.

So, off he went to cricket again the next day. I KNOW! Unbelievable. Anyway, luckily it didn't slow down the healing and within a couple of weeks you wouldn't have even known there was an injury at all. Of course, there was also the distraction of thinking he'd broken his thumb in the next game another week later. Only bruised, as it turned out, but it all made me kind of grateful that he's the only sporty child we have.

Our youngest son, aged 12, was playing cricket at school last week - because it was a class activity. When he was younger we tried to get him to play the game but he has never shown any interest. We don't mind too much, we're not pushy about the kids doing something they don't want to do. He's always been active, he just doesn't really enjoy organised team sports. Anyway, thanks to that one season of junior cricket when he was small, as well as playing in the backyard with his big brother over the years, it turns out he's pretty talented. Enough for the teachers to now be trying to encourage him into the school cricket team. He still says he's not interested, so we'll see how they go with that.

He went to watch one of his friends play baseball just a few days ago and when I picked him up afterwards I asked the standard question, "So, do you think you'd like to have a go at playing baseball yourself?" His response: "Nah ... it looks okay, but then there's that running part."

My daughter, sitting in the front seat of the car, burst out laughing and said, "That right there is my whole problem with sport. There's always a running part!"

Reviving my Green Thumb

It's a little rusty. My green thumb, that is. When we were younger and starting our family, the Caveman and I both took pride in our gardening - planting vegetable and herb gardens, selecting native trees and getting the kids involved. We really enjoyed learning about various plants and watching things grow.

The only problem we had was that we lived out of town, in an area with very little rainfall, so it was hard to keep much of it alive - I built up some pretty impressive arm muscles carrying buckets of household water to the plants, after collecting it from the washing machine or shower. We couldn't afford to "waste" our good drinking water from the rainwater tank on it. It costs a lot of money to buy a load of water.

Unfortunately, between moving house a couple of times since then, raising the family and getting back into the workforce, we've both found we have less time and interest in gardening. As rental tenants especially, we just sort of maintain what's already there, with no real interest in adding to it at our own expense. Added to that is the fact that we are again living in the same area we were in all those years ago, relying on tank water with very little rainfall, so the garden really does look a bit neglected.

Recently we had a visit from the owner of our house, just to check on some work they'd had done. While they were here we talked about the gardens and agreed that they need some rejuvenating. After some discussion about how to do it as cheaply as possible, we came to an agreement about groundcovers. In particular, the succulent varieties. I usually struggle to keep groundcover plants alive, especially during the dry months, so I had kind of given up on them. I've never been a big fan of succulents either - I can't explain why. I'm not really prejudiced about plants, I promise! - but I've agreed it might be the answer to sprucing up the garden with very little money or water necessary.

As it turns out, lots of other people love succulents and most are very generous about sharing them. They are a great choice for a tight budget because you only need to take a small cutting (or break off a leaf) and plant it, and voila! a new plant grows. I'm actually enjoying gardening again, watching my baby cuttings grow and transplanting them into the mature gardens as soon as they're ready. It's not taking too much water to get them established, so most of them are doing well so far.

Fingers crossed my green thumb continues to thrive!