What's in the Box?

Our littlest Caveman came out from his bedroom last night, proudly carrying something that looked a little like a breathing mask in his hand. He put it over his mouth and nose, saying, "Look, Mum and Dad, it's one of those things that people use when they're having trouble breathing!"

Nice try, son. At this point, the only person having trouble breathing was his older brother, who had followed him down the hallway and was laughing so hard he couldn't catch his breath.

You see, our older boy plays cricket. I'm sure anyone who knows anything about cricket can already see where this is going.

For anyone unfamiliar with the game, one of the most important pieces of personal player equipment is a protector, or "box". Basically it's a triangular shaped article (and yes, moulded a little like a breathing mask) which is designed to be slipped down inside the front of the pants for the purpose of protecting a player's ... er ... even more important "personal equipment".

This was what our younger boy had picked up in his bedroom (which he shares with his brother) and had decided was a vital piece of first-aid equipment. Once the rest of us realised what he was actually holding, we all experienced trouble with our breathing - laughter can have that affect.

I explained to our little man that the article he was holding in his hand had nothing to do with breathing and suggested to his brother that he should explain to him what it actually was. In the privacy of their own bedroom, to save further embarrassment for either of them.

The two boys disappeared back down the hallway and I could hear the murmur of their voices as big brother talked to little brother about what he'd found. The next sound we heard from their room was a very loud "Eeeww!" from little brother. Cue more laughter from the rest of the house. Yes, now he knows what it's used for.

It was perfectly clean but, when he has a chance to think about it, I'll bet he wishes he hadn't put it anywhere near his face.

"Me" Time?

I'm feeling slightly ripped-off today.

I was looking forward to having the house completely to myself. I love those rare days when every other member of the family is away for the day. It's my idea of Heaven. I turn up the music and dance my way through the housework (and usually get a lot more done than on any other day). More importantly, when I'm done with cleaning I can relax and read a book - or spend an hour or three on the computer - knowing I won't be disturbed by anyone else.

Last week was a step in the right direction ... it was the first week of the new term at school, so the kids were out of the house all day, for 5 days in a row! The only person at home with me was the Caveman - which is a case of "situation normal", but I do get more done if he's gone as well. He doesn't interfere too much with my routine, but he gets in my way. It's surprising how much harder it can be to clean the house with even one extra person at home. Plus, he complains about the music I play (hey, we don't all want to rock out to "Bad to the Bone", while we're mopping).  Also, with him at home, there is more coffee and chat time - which means less housework done at the end of the day.

I got my hopes up when the Caveman was called up for two weeks of Jury Duty. He went along to the courthouse nearly every day last week, but didn't end up being selected so he was home by 10 am each day. This week, however, he has been selected for a jury - he was gone all day yesterday and all of today so far as well!

As it turns out though, there wasn't a lot of joy in this new development for me ... just as the Caveman made it onto a jury, two of the kids have come down with illnesses. My dreams of peace and quiet (and writing a blog about the joys of being home alone) have been crushed.  Instead, I'm looking after a teenager and pre-teen with nausea, headaches and the sniffles, as well as tripping over blankets and pillows in the lounge room (that's where the telly is so, naturally, that's where the kids have to be too).

The only advantage to all this is that, because I'm convinced they can't possibly do without their mum (whether they agree with that or not), I have the perfect excuse to abandon the housework for today and watch movies with them.

I think I can live with that.

Family Time

Our two week Easter school holiday break is nearly over. This is the stage of the holidays where some
parents can't wait for school to go back, while others wish the holidays didn't have to end. Lots of families have spent their holidays driving long distances to go camping or visiting relatives.

If we had done any of that, then I'm sure that is what this blog would have been about.

As it is, we have had what most people would consider a very boring school holiday break here in the Crazy Cave ... mostly spent with each other, in our own home.
 
We always look forward to the holidays - let's face it, it's great to let go of routines for a while. No need to get out of bed early in the morning and get everyone dressed, breakfasted and ready for the school run. No lunches to pack, uniforms to wash, homework to supervise. It's great!

These holidays have been particularly lazy for us ... with two weeks at our disposal, we could have organised all sorts of interesting activities. Normally we would have considered a trip to Brisbane to catch up with my family - but finances didn't allow for that this time. Another option would have been to make a couple of day trips (maybe to the cinema, the beach or a camping ground ... even a simple picnic at a local park). We haven't done that either. I could blame money again, or the fact that a couple of us began the holidays suffering from colds, or even the weather - there has been a lot of rain - but really we just haven't felt like leaving home.

For once, we have just been happy to stay in our cave and enjoy each other's company - and it really has been lovely. The kids have all been getting along well (here's hoping that continues) and they have also had a number of their friends come to visit. They have enjoyed being able to relax with their computer games, lego and books. Our family activities have included rearranging the boys' bedroom, watching some old movies together (with popcorn!) and beginning construction on a new guinea pig mansion for our five beautiful girls to move into. Sounds exciting, doesn't it?

Well, it got a lot more exciting when the Caveman caught his finger with the drill bit during construction of the mansion, but the doctor says it should heal nicely.

I am still optimistic that we might get to the cinema before school goes back next week. I also hope we'll be able to manage a picnic if the weather is kind to us between now and then as well. I do know the guinea pig mansion won't be finished this week - between the injured finger and the miserable weather, construction is now very slow ... but that's okay.

The important thing is that we are all relaxed. There has been no rushing around visiting other people, dealing with holiday traffic or spending money we can't justify. We have cooked together, played together, talked a lot (as all families should) and laughed a lot too.

Sometimes the best holidays are the ones you take at home.

Hoax Buster!

One of my treats, if I am up before everyone else in the house, is to sit in front of my computer, with my coffee, scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook. It's nice to catch up on the latest news from my friends and family before I start the day.

I love Facebook. It's a great way to keep in touch with far-flung loved ones who I don't get to see or can't phone often because we live in different time zones. It's also handy for keeping up with local events, current affairs, other mums from the school ... as social networking goes, it's everything I need. It has made it easier for me to be in touch with people I haven't always kept up with in "real life" - I may not have spoken with someone from my school days for years, but we can share photos and keep each other informed of happenings in our lives and it feels like the friendship is kept alive, when it would have otherwise fallen by the wayside years ago. I have also been able to re-connect with people I hadn't seen or heard from for years (even decades!).

My only gripe with Facebook is the number of hoaxes filling up my Wall. This is not Facebook's fault. The blame here lies entirely with people who follow others and share blindly without checking facts - rather unkindly referred to as "sheeple".

Anyone who has had anything to do with Facebook will know the kind of thing I'm referring to ... everything from famous people being credited with speeches they didn't actually make (Bill Gates, Bill Cosby, Robin Williams, to name a few), sick children and injured animals to those touching "memes" that ask you to "share if you are against (insert word here)" - drink driving, abuse, racism, cancer, bullying, etc. The underlying message is that if I don't share, I don't have a heart.

Of course I am against all those things ... but sharing a picture on Facebook isn't going to do anything to help the cause. No doctor is going to treat a child according to how many "likes" they get and sharing pictures of injured animals does nothing except cause distress to animal lovers who see them. Trying to push me into sharing something if I'm against bullying is a form of bullying in itself - a bit ironic really.

That's not to say I don't like all the memes I see. The difference is, if I want to share a lovely poem that has the usual "Share if..." at the bottom of it, I will type it out myself as a status update, or even google the poem - chances are it can be found on another picture, without the added line, and that's the one I'll share.

I was joking just last week that I am probably getting a reputation as a "hoax-buster" among my friends. The person I was speaking to immediately responded with "Yes, you are!". I was a bit hurt by this, to start with. I don't like to think I am annoying anyone by pointing out if something they have shared isn't true - I guess I prefer to think that I'm being helpful. My usual response is to share a link to an article as proof that something is fake, along with a friendly message and a smiley face emoticon so they know I'm not trying to upset them (because we all know a smiley face fixes everything, right?).

Then, when I thought about it more, I realised that I was being too sensitive. There are plenty of other people out there who share their opinions with others without a second thought for whether they are offending anyone. If anything, I've always been a bit mousy and shy about having my own opinions, especially if others disagree with them. So I am now happy to be a hoax-buster. I suppose it could be considered a form of research - which, if I'd discovered this enjoyment earlier, could have led to all sorts of interesting career opportunities too!

I try not to comment too often - I know that can be annoying, just like someone picking others up on their spelling all the time. That's another gripe of mine actually - incorrect spelling - but I am proud to say I've managed to turn a blind eye for the most part where Facebook is concerned.

I do prefer not to take things too seriously, including Facebook. When it comes to the Share memes, I generally just scroll past without commenting at all. I often get a giggle at seeing just how many hoaxes do the rounds over and over again. I am also aware that none of my friends would knowingly share anything false - they really think they're helping in some way, and who can blame them for that?

The Caveman used to call me "Madam Teacher" (he is a terrible speller, so he has often found himself on the receiving end of my corrections!), but now it's "Madam Google". I guess there are worse things to be called.

Oh, time to end with a smiley ... :-)

Easter Fun

It's Easter and my kids have just completed a treasure hunt. Not for the eggs the Easter Bunny brings - they will come later in the day and just be scattered across the floor while the kids are playing outside. The treasure hunt was for the chocolate treat their Dad and I bought them.

Rather than just give them their eggs/bunnies, we will hand the kids a clue written on a piece of paper. Something like "Look inside the washing machine". There they will find the next clue ... and so on. It makes it so much fun for everyone, the kids love following the clues and we love watching them run around the house wondering if the next clue will give the location of the "prize".

We discovered the treasure hunt when our teenager was in Preschool. He was having some trouble learning his words and we wanted to help. We did the usual trick of labeling objects around the house, little stickers everywhere with "door", "shelf", "bed", etc, written on them. At some point though, we came up with the idea of a treasure hunt - something that would really get his interest and inspire him to WANT to read the words on the paper. I went and bought him a very cheap little toy and we buried it in a box in the sandpit. Then I wrote out the clues (at his age then, I drew pictures beside the words to help him). He loved it, following each clue until he dug up his prize from the sand. It was a lot of fun for him and, as a reading activity, it worked a treat.

Since then, treasure hunts have been a semi-regular feature in the Crazy Cave. We have used it for birthday presents and other special occasions, as well as just for a fun activity every now and then.

For today's hunt, I changed things up a little. Usually the three kids walk around as a group, finding the clues and reading them together until they get to the prize. The older two are great at helping their little brother with the clues (and of course he is now the one who benefits most from this exercise as a reading activity).

This time I had them working in a group for the first half dozen clues, then they found one that said they should each look under their own pillow. From there, they had separate clues to follow, which turned out to be even more fun - they were all moving in different directions and at different speeds. It was great to just watch and enjoy their enthusiasm - which is always the best part for parents.

When the Easter Bunny comes, he'll scatter a few dozen small eggs on the floor which the kids will then race around collecting when they come in and see them there. It's still the main event, but maybe on a smaller scale than in most homes. Partly because we only have one "believer" in the house - although his big brother and sister are great at playing along and getting into the spirit of the day for him - and also because it's the way we've always done it.

Mythical creatures don't get a lot of credit in our house, they are more of a token symbol (I'm the same about Santa, actually ... he only fills the stockings. Maybe it's selfish, but I like the kids to know the big expensive gifts come from us!).

I wish you all a very happy Easter, whether you celebrate it from a religious perspective or just as a devoted chocoholic like me :-)

On a Serious Note ...

 
It's time for a serious blog. This one is about my man having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I started typing about it a few weeks ago, but decided not to share it because it was so long (and depressing to read - I must have needed to vent that day!). The reality is though, living with a long-term chronic illness is not easy ... for the sufferer or their loved ones.

So, since this is my blog and what I share here may be helpful to someone else, I have decided to share an insight into our life with anyone who would care to read on ...

The Caveman has had CFS since his mid-twenties - around fifteen years now. It started with a bout of Glandular Fever a few years before that, which apparently caused what the doctors called "Cyclic Fatigue" ... meaning simply that symptoms of chronic fatigue came and went.

He would be well for a while, settle into a new job, then come down with CFS and lose that job as a result, be well again a few months later, find a new job, then come down with it again .... well, you get the idea. Most employers don't have a lot of patience with a worker who just can't get himself out of bed in the morning because of an "invisible" illness.

CFS is not a very well understood condition and was even less so back in the nineties. A lot of people just didn't believe it was a real condition, so the reaction my man got from employers was also exhibited by his friends, associates and even family members, who thought he was being lazy and should try harder. Never mind that, when I first met him, he had a great work ethic. He had a very physical job and loved it.  He was also incredibly fit, going to the gym regularly and playing competitive cricket every weekend - he was a formidable fast bowler - the epitome of the expression "work hard, play hard".
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After being cyclic for a period of time, it progressed into full-blown CFS. In the years since then, I have lost count of the number of doctors he has seen and blood tests he has had, with no clear answers as to what causes this or what can be done about it. Then there are all the times well-meaning people have said to us, "Oh, I knew someone who had that and they got rid of it by trying (insert random alternative therapy here)". We know it's natural for people to share ideas that they really believe will work and we are still open to suggestions. The fact is, every case is different and, after all these years, we haven't come across any definitive cure. He has tried dietary changes, lifestyle changes, hot/cold therapy, various vitamin supplements, crystals, massage, counselling (in case it was being triggered by something emotional) ... the list goes on. No-one can explain why he has had it for so long either.

CFS has had a huge impact on the Caveman's self-esteem and confidence. He is on a pension as he hasn't been able to work for years. He has suffered from severe depression as he came to terms with not being able to work and provide for his family. He has put on weight, but it is a struggle for him to perform even basic regular exercise to get rid of it. He still plays cricket with a local team during Summer, to try to maintain some level of fitness and self-belief, but he has had to give up fast bowling and focus more on batting - he has become a big hitter of the ball so that he doesn't have to do much running between the wickets. He gets tired, angry, frustrated and downright moody at times, because he can't live the life he wants to.

As for the impact on the rest of us ... well, I get tired and frustrated too. We joke that he is my fourth child, and it's true that I often have to look after him as well as the kids. The fact that he is at home full-time, while I've been a full-time mum, meant a major adjustment to our relationship - most couples get a break from each other and the "daily grind" for at least a few hours a day. I sometimes envy my friends who have fit, healthy husbands - I know they don't cringe at the thought of other people asking what their man does for a living. Then I feel guilty, as though I am letting my husband down by even thinking that way.

It's hard on the kids as well. They know their Dad can't do a lot of running around with them. They don't get to see him going off to work every day like all the other Dads. They know that, because of the lack of work income, we can't afford to do a lot of the great things they see their friends doing. As much as we've tried to shield them from it, they have even heard other people talk about what their much-loved Dad "should" be able to do.

Those things hurt. The Caveman worries enough about the example he sets for our kids. Like any decent father, he just wants to be a good role model for them.

Despite all this, we do look for the positives. He enjoys being a full-time Dad. He has seen milestones that other Dads often miss out on. When he has the energy, he helps out at school and with any other activities our kids are involved in. He is a good husband - my best friend, in fact - which means us being together 24/7 is not always the hardship it might be for some couples. He is very supportive of my efforts to get back into the workforce and I know that, if I get a job that doesn't fit in with school hours, he will pick up the slack for me where the kids are concerned.

He is a genuinely funny guy, as well as being easy to talk to, and we usually find something to laugh about in almost any situation. When we have had an added hardship to deal with - my post natal depression, his father's death - I have admired the inner strength he has shown. He is optimistic about getting healthier (and back to work) as time goes on and I have faith in him achieving that goal.

Of course there are difficulties, especially if he is having a particularly bad day, but we work through them together. In many ways, this experience has made us stronger as a couple and closer as a family.

This journey through CFS has a big impact on our day-to-day lives, as well as our relationships with other people. We have learned to take each day as it comes and accept that there will always be others who refuse to believe it's really that bad - it's another one of those experiences you just don't understand unless you go through it yourself (and we wouldn't wish it on anyone).

Ours is certainly not the only family living with a chronic illness, nor do we have the worst one to deal with. We work on keeping our sense of humour and being thankful for what we do have ... making the most of the life we have now and trusting that there is a brighter future ahead.

But it said Anti Burst ...

Here in the Crazy Cave, we have recently re-discovered exercise (or balance) balls. You know, the big inflatable balls that you sit on and do exercises (to strengthen your core muscles, among other things).

I say "re-discovered" because I had one about ten years ago. I absolutely loved it for the couple of months that I used it daily - I was so toned and fit! Then the ball developed a leak. As it slowly deflated (and I didn't rush out and buy another one), my interest waned. Bad move ... I lost all that beautiful muscle tone I'd worked so hard to achieve.

Not that I really cared at the time, life was so busy with a house renovation and two small children to take care of. I looked back fondly on my time with my ball as one of those exercise "fads" that we all experience at some point.

Back to the present ... a little before Christmas, the Caveman and I were discussing the back pain he had been experiencing. We figured out that the seat he was sitting on while using the computer was probably causing the problem. Our solution was to buy a couple of exercise balls, thinking that they would be better for posture while sitting at the computer and they could be used for fitness as an added bonus.

It was a brilliant idea. The Caveman was absolutely thrilled with his new "computer chair" and the spare one we got was well used by the kids and myself too - it made a great spare seat in front of the telly AND we got to exercise with it as well!

Also, of course, it gave the boys in the house (and I include the Caveman in this) much cause for lots of jokes referring to "their balls".

Then the hot season arrived. In our research before buying the balls we had double checked things like what size ball you should have for your height and how firm the balls should be when fully inflated. We even made sure we bought the "Anti Burst!!" type. What we didn't find out was that it is a good idea to release some air from the balls in hot or humid weather, as they expand in the heat.

This was a lesson learned the hard way. I arrived home from a trip into town recently, only to be greeted by my children with giggled warnings. "Mum, whatever you do, don't laugh at Dad when he tells you what happened while you were gone." What?? I went inside to check on the Caveman, only to be told that his ball had burst in the heat. Worse, he had been sitting on it at the time.

Luckily my man can laugh at himself. He wasn't offended by the fact that I couldn't help chuckling as he regaled me with the dramatic story of his sudden trip to the floor, landing on his hip. There he was, concentrating intently on something he was reading on the screen, when all of a sudden .. BANG! Followed quickly by THUMP as he hit the floor. He hit his elbow on the way down but was otherwise okay. Stunned, but okay.

We still have the spare ball, which is used mostly by our teenager, but even he has fallen off it and bruised his tailbone.

The moral of the story is that exercise balls are great for improving core strength and posture, as long as you're using them sensibly and remember to let out some air at the height of Summer.

It might take a while, but I'm sure one day the Caveman will consider sitting on one again.