Nelly

Otherwise known as Nell. Or Nelza. Or Nelly Welly, Nell Bell, Smelly Nelly ... even Nelectrolux (when she was a puppy and literally vacuumed up everything in sight). I am writing about our beautiful black (and grey!) Labrador-mix dog, who we bid a teary farewell to this morning.

Nelly came to us in 2003, when she was six months old. She was a giveaway – unwanted by her previous owner after outgrowing the ‘cute puppy’ stage. I had been thinking about getting a dog for the kids so I took them with me to meet her. We all fell for her immediately; then we just had to convince the Caveman (he’s not so much of a dog lover). He came with us that afternoon to meet her and, as soon as she saw us, she made a beeline for him. It was like she already knew she had me and the kids ‘sold’ on her and it was just him she had to convince. It worked. He melted and we took her home with us then. She already had the name Nelly, so we kept it - it saved us trying to come up with a name we could all agree on.

There were some issues over the years … if she got out of the yard she could follow her nose a very long way. Nelly was a wanderer. I lost count of the times we would come outside in the morning to find she’d broken out and vanished. We could only wait, and sure enough, our intrepid explorer would appear at the top of the driveway a little while later feeling very satisfied with her morning run. She would race back toward us with her ears and tongue flapping in the breeze, the happiest expression on her face, wondering why we were all annoyed with her. She wore an expression that said, ’Hey there family, here I am!’, as if she just expected that she would be loved, no matter what she did. In fact, that was the same expression she greeted us with every morning for most of her life.

 

Like most Labs, she was a vocal dog too. Yes, she barked more than she should have and it was a bad habit we never got under control to the extent that we would have liked. But she was vocal in another way, which was designed to get our attention. She would make a long ‘wrooo-wrooo’ sound, almost like a doggy version of 'hello', at us, or to ask for more pats. It was effective – she usually got her pats and we would ‘wrooo-wrooo’ right back at her.

Nelly adored our kids from day one. She always loved running around with them in the backyard, curling up with them for cuddles, going for walks - usually her walking them more than they walked her. She worried over them if she thought they were doing something she considered dangerous, like swimming. Nelly hated the water, so she never understood why the kids would choose to go into it. She would actually whine and paw at me to get them out again! Of course, she got better about it as she got older, but she still worried. It’s not surprising she started going grey at an early age.

She enjoyed good health for most of her life, despite her habit of chewing absolutely everything when she was younger. We lost shoes, books, toys … even the arm of a lounge chair! Eventually she learned that sticks and dog treats were allowed, but nothing else. We also had to watch her sweet tooth; the kids were taught very early about the importance of not giving Nelly any chocolate or other sugary snacks. She had to be tied up if we were having a birthday party – we learned this lesson when one of the kids had a party where they had to burst a piñata. When the lollies hit the ground Nelly was right in there with all the kids, grabbing her share and swallowing them, wrappers and all! 

When a cancerous growth appeared 5 months ago (a recurrence, where a previous one had been removed a year earlier), we decided to let nature take its course and just love her for the time she had left. In the past few weeks though, we'd been noticing signs of her discomfort, and realised yesterday that it was time for that final trip to the Vet.

She was with us for 11 years, and we would have liked a lot longer, but we know we gave her a happy life for the time we did have. We had no false expectations at the end; saying goodbye was every bit as hard as we expected it to be, with floods of tears from everyone. 

We have lots of happy memories of our beautiful Nelly, but the most precious memory is knowing that she loved us with all she had to give. She may not have been a perfect dog, but she was the best dog for us.

When I Feel Like It.

So. This is me today -------->

Procrastinating.  Putting things off.

It's not like I have nothing to do. I can see the dirty floors, the load of clothes in the laundry hamper, the dirty dishes beside the sink. All waiting to be washed. By me, I'm guessing.

It's not only housework either. I also have a couple of letters to write and some sewing projects to start on, among other things.

The problem is, I have no motivation. No energy. No desire to do any of those jobs today. I just don't feel like it.

It's a beautiful day outside. I could easily curl up with a book and a coffee on the back deck and just relax in the cool breeze. That doesn't get my housework done though. It will still be there, staring at me, when I come back inside.

Sometimes I wish I had the power to stop time ... you know, just for a little while.  Maybe an hour or three, to catch up on some sleep when I need it.  Or occasionally even for a whole day, so that I could focus on getting the house clean with absolutely NO interruptions. But then, with no commitments outside the home today - for once - that's kind of how the day should have run for me anyway.

Except that I just don't feel like it. That's a bummer. Having an entire day with nothing else to do and it coincides with a lazy streak a mile wide, that stops me wanting to achieve anything at all. It's ironic really.

You would think that the idea of having a tidy house (a rare thing for us) would be enough to get me off my backside, but it's not. I guess I could invite a friend over. That was a technique I used to use when I was younger ... knowing someone was coming to see me was a guaranteed way to make sure I got things done around the house. But today? Meh. I don't think it would make any difference.

There should be a support group for this sort of thing - a kind of 'Procrastinators Anonymous'. We could all meet somewhere on a set day every ... oh wait, hang on. That won't work. None of us would turn up.

I'm sure I'll have some enthusiasm for getting things done tomorrow. In the meantime, maybe I should grab that book and make that coffee.  In fact, I will ... just as soon as I feel like it.

The Bald and The Beautiful

On the weekend, my Mother in Law lost all her hair. Not through any type of misadventure or ill health, thank goodness ... she simply had her head shaved.

It was done for a good cause, as part of the Leukaemia Foundation's "World's Greatest Shave" fundraiser.

Willing participants are sponsored to have their hair shaved off or coloured, to raise money for research into blood cancers and their treatments.

We are all very proud of Grandma for raising money for such an important cause - and the new 'hairstyle' is pretty terrific too.  Even the kids think it's great. In fact, the Littlest Caveman, who had been insisting lately that he didn't ever want a haircut again, actually asked me yesterday if he could have his head shaved 'like Grandma's'.

Considering the last trim I gave him was a sneaky one while he was asleep (to save arguments), I didn't need a second invitation! I had the hair clippers in my hand and a cape around his neck before he had a chance to change his mind and now his hair matches his big brother's short style. Okay, it's not quite as short as his Grandma's, but he's happy with it.

He even told me this morning, when I complained about the heat, that I should shave my head as well ... 'It's a lot cooler, Mum.'  He then pointed out that, aside from myself and the Cavegirl, most of the family has really short hair now - himself, his Grandma, his brother and father.  I frowned at that comment.  'Your Dad hasn't had his head shaved recently.'

'No,' he answered, in the knowledgeable tone of a six-year-old, 'but Dad had that bunch of hair on top that's never come back.'

My poor Caveman ... if he didn't already feel self conscious about his bald patch, that comment would definitely have done it.

Cut off from the World

After a hectic few weeks, we are finally settled in at our new house and loving it!

I had ideas for my blog running through my head the whole time - every time something amusing happened, or we had a new problem to worry about, I thought 'I could make this into a blog'.

There are lots of funny or stressful moments associated with moving, such as trying to remember where specific items were packed (why were the littlest Caveman's socks NOT packed with the rest of his clothes?), or completing all the relevant paperwork with the real estate agents. Not to mention the fact that life in general doesn't stop just because you happen to be moving house ... school assignments still have to be in on time, appointments need to be attended, bills paid, etc.

Of course, I had no energy to actually sit and complete a blog post anyway, so in the end I decided to leave the whole thing until after the move was over.

I could have posted about how we are now renting a house directly across the road from one that we used to own (and that my husband grew up in!). It is a little unusual, looking out at the neighbour's place and knowing that we were responsible for the colour of the house and what is planted in the gardens. But no, it is someone else's house now, so it doesn't feel right to me to make a big deal out of that.

As it turns out, the funniest part of the whole move for me was when we discovered that the phone line at the new house needed fixing. It's a nuisance when you can't make or receive calls (we had to divert them to our mobile phone), but the funny part came when the older kids discovered that until the phone line was fixed, we had NO internet. No Facebook, or Instagram, or any other form of social media was available to them until further notice. There wasn't even any warning, no chance for them to let people know that they would be offline for a few days. They came home from school one day to be informed that their connection to cyberspace was gone and we didn't know when we would get it back.

I wish I'd thought to have the camera handy to capture the looks on their faces when they were told. I've never seen two jaws drop open so fast. 'Stunned' would not be too strong a word for their expressions. It made me want to laugh. In fact, being the loving Mum that I am, I think I did let out a giggle. It may be why I got sulky looks from them for the rest of that afternoon.

I'm pleased to say I coped better with the situation than my kids did. I didn't miss Facebook, or emails, or reading the news online as much as I expected to. Over the next few days, the bigger kids helped us get some unpacking done and had proper conversations with each other while they were doing it. They even shared jokes - they are 12 and 14, difficult ages where sometimes they can't stand each other, so it was lovely to see them getting along better. Not that I'm blaming technology for their usual relationship - it's fairly typical for them to have issues with each other at their ages, so peace was probably only a temporary state anyway.

We felt a bit disconnected from the world, but it was nice. I would actually recommend it to anyone who has just moved house - cutting yourself off from everything for a bit can be very refreshing and a great way to recover somewhat from the upheaval.

And, while the kids are glad to have their social media back now, I'm sure they enjoyed the break too.

Moving on Up

Here at the Crazy Cave, we are gearing up to take on one of life’s major stresses. Before the end of the month, we will be moving house.

Luckily, we are renting, so we don’t have to deal with the extra hassles associated with house sales, such as contracts, solicitors, settlement … the list goes on. We've done that a couple of times before and, while I would love to own a house again one day, I am so glad that we don’t have to deal with those extra things this time around.

We are also staying in the same region, so we don't have to travel a long way or organise new schools for our kids.

 

No, for this move the stress is all about mundane tasks like decluttering, packing, cleaning, as well as the organisational duties - changing our address with everyone who has our details, arranging for the power and phone to be disconnected here and reconnected at the new place, and letting all our friends know where to find us. 

We are also both not currently working, which you might think makes things easier, but in a lot of ways it doesn't. It’s true we have more time and energy to put into the move – but we also have very little money to put towards it. We can’t afford removalists; we will be doing it ourselves, using our own car and trailer (although we may manage to pay someone to move a couple of the bigger items for us). Of course, the job hunting doesn’t stop while we are doing this either. If one or both of us gets a job in the middle of the move, we’ll just have to take the proverbial spoonful of cement and toughen up, to cope with the extra workload. Not that it would matter too much - we would be so grateful for the job, I think we could handle anything!

Many hands make light work, naturally. Thank goodness the kids are all old enough to be really helpful with this move. We are working as a team to get through all the tasks we need to accomplish in the next two weeks.

We have already started with the decluttering. The other members of my family don’t find it any easier to get rid of ‘stuff’ than I do, but we are all pulling up our big girl (and boy!) panties and getting on with it. We hired a skip bin last year and did a huge clean out, so we don’t have to do much more to really be on top of things. It is amazing though, how much one family can accumulate. In our case, there are a lot of sentimental items like old letters and photos, as well as schoolwork and drawings by the kids. However, there are also plenty of ornaments, toys, clothes and so many books that we just don't need anymore. Not to mention the objects we 'might need one day' or that 'only need to be repaired and it will be useful again'. Then there are other items that take up space just because we like to look at them (yes, Caveman, I’m talking about all those sports trophies!).

I think our local second-hand shops are going to do quite well out of us in the next week or two …

Down Time

Have I said before how much I love the school holidays? It’s my idea of heaven … I love not having to get up early to chase kids out of bed and make sure they get dressed and ready for school. Not having to pack lunches, ensure there is enough fruit for everyone or check that all homework has been completed.

Of course, I would probably find it a nuisance to have to figure out what to do with the little darlings while I’m away for hours every day if I had a job (and hopefully that’s a problem I will be dealing with next holidays) but for now, it’s nice to not have that concern.

The reason I love the holidays is because I love having my children home with me. I get to spend one on one time with each of them, watch movies with them, laugh and relax with them. Of course we do all that as much as possible throughout the school terms too, but then those activities are interspersed with episodes of my nagging. Phrases such as, ‘come on, it’s way past bedtime’, ‘how long has this sandwich been in your school bag?’ and ‘just hurry up and get IN THE CAR!’ are not so much a part of my vocabulary in the holidays.

Not that the routines and expectations are forgotten entirely. It is important for kids to understand that the house still has to be organised. Washing up still needs doing, animals need feeding and rooms DO need to be kept reasonably tidy.

A lot of rules are a little more relaxed though. I don’t chase my teenager out of bed early on the holidays, I let my Cavegirl play with makeup and nail polish a bit more than usual and my littlest Caveman gets to scatter his toys a bit further. They are all allowed to stay up later at night and get more computer time as well. We tend to be pretty strict on all those things during the school terms, so the kids really enjoy the relaxation on the holidays. The rules will tighten up again in the last week or two, in preparation for the new school year, but we will have had a few weeks of just enjoying each other’s company in the meantime.

I know a lot of parents can’t wait for school to go back. Even the Caveman refers to the school term as ‘parent holidays’ (and some days, when the kids are being difficult, I agree with him!). But, for now, I’m happy to enjoy the down time.

Confessions of a First Year Blogger

One year ago today, I published the first entry in my blog. I was new to this whole blogging world (although I was actually late to the scene, with so many people already doing it).

It’s been fun so far, although it has brought with it some challenges.

I have discovered that it’s much harder to blog regularly than I thought.  I assumed it would be no problem for me to sit down once or twice a week and tap out an interesting story on the keyboard. It turns out I am busier than I gave myself credit for!  

It can also be tricky to get an entire blog out of a small event – a lot of funny or unusual things happen in my house that I would love to share with the world, but they can often be described in only a few short sentences and it’s hard to stretch it out into something really worth reading.

On the other hand, sometimes there are subjects I could write an essay on … which I’m pretty certain no-one would bother reading.  I know if I am checking out somebody else’s blog I prefer it to be short and sweet. I don’t have time to sit and read other people’s essays either!

Sometimes it's tricky to know whether I should write about serious subjects, or focus on humour. I have tried to do both, with some entries being more serious and others being just about some random funny moment that I thought was worth sharing.

It has been an interesting exercise in learning how to write so that what I’m saying makes sense. Adding information where necessary and removing words (or even entire sentences) that just clog up the story. Taking the time to proofread what I’ve written and figure out what works and what doesn’t before I click ‘Publish’. I'm sure it is all good practice for when I get around to writing that novel I keep threatening.

I am enjoying blogging and will definitely continue. I'll probably never be one of those bloggers who makes money out of it, or gets famous (who'd want that anyway?), but it's fun.  I love when things happen and I immediately think, 'That would make a great blog'. Of course, there are also plenty of things that I wouldn't blog about - it is important to keep a level of privacy and not fall into the trap of just treating it like a private diary (after all, the internet is forever!).  

Blogging gives a whole new perspective on everyday life and I would encourage anyone to give it a go.

It's also nice to be able to look back over the year and see what I have written about my family and our adventures through the past 12 months.  I can’t wait to see what we get up to in the next 12 ...