It's time for another new year. A whole new decade, in fact. Like nervous and excited young adults, we're leaving the teen years behind and entering the '20's!This past decade was a big one for us. The first ten years of the millenium had been all about having babies, renovating and selling homes, learning to manage a family budget - basically being proper adults. We also had extra hurdles thrown in, such as the Caveman's chronic fatigue, my post natal depression and some poor financial situations. It was a challenging, but mostly fun, 10 year period as we grew our young family.
This 'teen years' decade has actually been more solemn in many ways. It feels like we've had to grow up.
We farewelled some really important people, beginning with the Caveman's Dad in January 2010. His was the first major death we'd ever had to deal with; we were his 'next of kin' and had to take responsibility for all the official death-related tasks, as well as dealing with our own grief and guiding our small children through theirs as well.
Closer to this end of the decade of course, two years ago we lost my Mum, which was another devastating blow to us all. The Caveman's best friend also passed away recently and, in the past few years, our older two children have each lost friends they cared deeply for, to different illnesses.
Aside from the sad goodbyes of the decade, money problems meant we had to sell our house in 2011. Worse, we weren't in a position to buy again, so we accepted defeat and went back to renting. That was depressing. Then our older children hit their teen years and it felt like everything went to shit, to put it bluntly. Having teenagers gave us entirely new challenges and conflicts to deal with, as they navigated moods, grief, mental health issues, bullying, sexuality, academic struggles, unemployment, etc, etc. Seriously, the list could go on for days.
At times we've struggled within our relationship. More than once it felt as if we were both hit with struggles at every turn. Too many financial and emotional issues can put immense pressure on the strongest marriage. If it wasn't for us both being exceptionally determined to work on it, I'm sure it would have been over. We've also recently discovered the Caveman is on the autistic spectrum, which is another learning curve for us all - but that one warrants its own blog post at another time.
It hasn't all been doom and gloom though - of course there have been good things to come out of this decade. The Caveman became better at managing his chronic fatigue and in 2013 we both took the plunge into study and back into the workforce. I completed my Aged Care course and have honestly never looked back. It's a real joy to be able to say I love my job. The Caveman did a business course and then ended up taking a job in the disability support industry. It was an unexpected path for him, but one which he also loves and is grateful to have discovered. It hasn't improved things financially as much as we'd hoped, as they're not the best paid jobs, but we're getting there.
The older kids have grown into well adjusted and beautiful young adults. We are immensely proud of who they have both become after all they've been through. We know we're approaching the 'empty nest' phase with these two, so we appreciate every moment we get to spend with them. On the other hand, our youngest still has the teen years to come - we're taking a big calming breath and crossing our fingers as that approaches!
We are happy renting, with no plans to buy another house in the future. We are also now considering a move away from the area we've lived in for 30 years and raised our children in, which is kind of scary and exciting at the same time. It's something we talked about doing years ago, but the circumstances were never quite right. Maybe this year?
We've had precious times with family and friends, become more confident within ourselves and dealt with some pretty big issues better than we might have expected. All in all, we feel pretty positive. No doubt the next few years will also bring lots of challenges and some more grief too, but we are generally optimistic and look forward to what's coming for us in the next decade.
Here's to a happy new year!
