Welcome, Baby Girl

Moving on to happier news after my previous post ...

Just over two weeks ago we finally welcomed our beautiful baby granddaughter!

She was 5 days overdue when she decided to make her appearance and it was the greatest privilege of my life to be in the birthing suite for her delivery.

It wasn't the smoothest birth, but the midwives and doctor were just fantastic and our Cavegirl was an absolute champion. I was in awe of how she handled everything and, because the baby's father was there too, I also got to see little bub's first moments with her Mummy and Daddy ... oh, my heart!

Now we're seeing their transition into parenthood and it's beautiful to see how much they love her and are soaking in every moment. The Caveman and I really couldn't be more proud of them both. They are doing this together as much as possible. Our daughter's ex-partner absolutely adores his new baby girl and is very involved. He is not living with us anymore, but spends as much time at our house as he can manage around work, and they are really supporting each other through this major life adjustment. I don't know if they will ever get back to having a romantic relationship or just stay friends, but we don't mind either way. We just want them (and baby) to get along and be happy.

For the Caveman and me, "grandparenthood" feels pretty good so far! Having our daughter living with us means we can help as much as she needs us to. We are always happy to accept any baby cuddles that come our way, in order for her to catch up on sleep or have a shower. We know we are so lucky to have this arrangement, although we are careful about not stepping in without being asked. Our daughter has one end of the house to herself and only needs to share our kitchen, so she can be as separate from the rest of us as she wants to be.

(Just quietly, I think Mr 15 is very relieved about that, especially when the baby is unsettled!)

We had to choose what we would be called, which I actually found quite hard. The Caveman immediately decided he would be Poppy, or Pop, just as his father was to our kids and his grandfather had been to him. I knew I'd feel more comfortable with Nanna or Nanny than Grandma, but my Mum was Nanna to my kids, so it still feels a little strange to call myself that. As it turns out though, my daughter has been referring to me simply as "Nan" for her baby and I've discovered I do love that.

We are really enjoying this new chapter of our lives. Having a new little one to dote on again is a joyful experience and, as I said to a friend recently, there is nothing sweeter than seeing our baby girl completely in love with her own baby girl.

Technoblade Never Dies

For anyone unfamiliar with gaming streamers, they are people who play an online game and "stream" it on the internet for others to watch or participate in. Sounds like a waste of time, I know, but some are actually great to watch. Besides, there are people who watch more pointless shows on tv, in my opinion.

Yesterday we found out that our youngest son's favourite YouTube streamer, Technoblade, had passed away. He was 23 years old.

We knew Techno had cancer - he had informed his followers of his diagnosis months ago and kept everyone up to date with his progress even through chemotherapy, still putting out semi-regular content on YouTube. He kept his good humour and humility about his situation, while also raising awareness about sarcoma. He encouraged people to buy his merchandise, with proceeds going to the Sarcoma Foundation of America.

Having seen our older son lose one of his best friends a few years ago, to another form of sarcoma, this hit a bit close to home. I'd been worried that Technoblade's story might not have a happy ending either.

We sat down last night to watch the YouTube clip released by Technoblade's family on his behalf, announcing his death. It was devastating. Our son had already watched it, so he knew what was coming, but he still broke down upon watching it again.

He's 15 now ... showing his emotions in front of his family doesn't come easily to him these days. For me, seeing my boy break down at the loss of one of his idols was just heartbreaking. I held him and we cried together.

I cried for my son's grief, but also for all the other young people out there who have followed Technoblade and who will now have to come to terms with his death. I cried for Techno (or Alex, as we know now his real name to be). He seemed like a lovely guy who, like so many others, didn't deserve to die so young. I also cried for his family and what they must be going through now.

It is easy in these situations to think, but what about all the ordinary people who pass away from cancer? Why do we make such a big deal over a celebrity or online personality dying? I think it's often because they feel so real to us. If they're doing it right, we feel like we really know them personally. In the case of YoutTube gaming streamers, they are generally talking constantly to their audience while they play - you can't help but feel they are including you personally in what they're doing. Kids can feel much closer to their streaming idols than we ever got to feel to our celebrity idols when we were growing up. In Techno's case too, like most people with a public image to uphold, he always came across as so optimistic and confident that he could beat this thing.

It's also true that we sometimes don't give enough credit to our kids for understanding that there is a real human being behind the online persona, but they do get it ... and it hurts when a hero falls. There are many young streaming fans grieving right now and their grief is as real as if they had lost a member of their own family.

Technoblade's death has had a big impact; there are tributes and messages of support appearing in online communities all over the world. The creators of Minecraft and even the official Youtube channel have released tributes, acknowledging his contribution to their platforms. The Sarcoma Foundation of America have announced that he will be honoured with a Courage Award at their annual gala later this year.

Rest in peace, Technoblade.
In some ways, you really will never die x