CHRISTMAS!*

I'm a little late this year. Usually I'd have a blog post up before Christmas, but I ran out of time. I couldn't shop early, thanks to unexpected expenses creating a major money shortage in our house. Then, when I had money to spend, I was too busy with work to get to the shops when I needed to. I also had to pop out a few times in the last couple of days just to get things I'd forgotten, which took away from the amount I could do at home in the approach to the big day. In the end, the blog had to take a back seat to everything else that needed to be done.

I actually recall writing something very similar last year, so maybe this level of disorganisation in the lead up to Christmas is my "new normal".
I hope not!

Anyway, just like last year, it all turned out fine. I was still tidying the living room when guests arrived and most of the food didn't even make it into the oven until after we'd all opened our presents, but it was a lovely casual day. There was laughter and great conversation, and we all genuinely enjoyed each other's company - which is kind of an added bonus to your children getting older, I suppose. Our eldest two are 20 and 18, so we can have proper grown-up banter with them. Our 12 year old manages to keep up pretty well too.

Of course, this Christmas in Australia has a tinge of sadness to it - much of our focus has been on the bushfires; the people who have lost their homes and families who have lost loved ones. We live in a semi-rural area ourselves and have experienced smoke haze from nearby fires a number of times now. Thankfully the past couple of days have been quite cool and there is even a hint of rain around. We would love rain, as we have to buy household water when our tank gets low, but it would be especially nice if it could fall where it's really needed to help put the fires out.

There are usually positives to be found, even when things seem gloomy. Our native wildlife are popping up all over the media and melting hearts. Koalas seem to be the most prominent just now, but losing so many means there is a push for awareness and to help the surviving population (and their habitat) to recover, so if there is a silver lining, I guess that's it. Our rural firefighters are inspirational, volunteering their time even at Christmas to keep people's homes safe. There have been lovely stories coming out about some of their interactions with the wildlife, but also with homeowners, who are so grateful that there are people willing to help protect their property.

One a lighter note and closer to home, my own personal heroes are our garbage collectors, who worked on Christmas morning. I had the day off and certainly wouldn't have minded if they had as well.

I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas day and took time to be thankful for the things (and people) who really matter to them x


*Edited a week later, because I forgot to add a title! What did I say about being disorganised? 😉

Not the Running Part!

My children are not all sports-minded. Yes, we have an adult son who is committed to his cricket, and it's great. We love seeing his pride in his ability, as well as the satisfaction that he gets from contributing to the result when the team does well. We also see the frustration when he hasn't had a good day at cricket or if the team has done poorly.

Just recently he came home from a day of cricket with a hand injury - he'd split the webbing between his thumb and forefinger. OUCH. Don't worry, it makes me cringe just thinking about it too. It didn't look pretty, but he had it bandaged up by someone at the ground and continued to play. Yep, you read that right. Continued to play. I didn't even know about the injury until he got home that night and showed it to me.

It probably could have done with a stitch or two in it, but it was already late and he didn't feel like going to the hospital and waiting to be seen. We agreed it would probably heal just fine on its own, as long as he looked after it - with the warning that if I saw any sign of infection, I'd have him straight to the doctor. Anyway, he promised he would be diligent about looking after it.

So, off he went to cricket again the next day. I KNOW! Unbelievable. Anyway, luckily it didn't slow down the healing and within a couple of weeks you wouldn't have even known there was an injury at all. Of course, there was also the distraction of thinking he'd broken his thumb in the next game another week later. Only bruised, as it turned out, but it all made me kind of grateful that he's the only sporty child we have.

Our youngest son, aged 12, was playing cricket at school last week - because it was a class activity. When he was younger we tried to get him to play the game but he has never shown any interest. We don't mind too much, we're not pushy about the kids doing something they don't want to do. He's always been active, he just doesn't really enjoy organised team sports. Anyway, thanks to that one season of junior cricket when he was small, as well as playing in the backyard with his big brother over the years, it turns out he's pretty talented. Enough for the teachers to now be trying to encourage him into the school cricket team. He still says he's not interested, so we'll see how they go with that.

He went to watch one of his friends play baseball just a few days ago and when I picked him up afterwards I asked the standard question, "So, do you think you'd like to have a go at playing baseball yourself?" His response: "Nah ... it looks okay, but then there's that running part."

My daughter, sitting in the front seat of the car, burst out laughing and said, "That right there is my whole problem with sport. There's always a running part!"

Reviving my Green Thumb

It's a little rusty. My green thumb, that is. When we were younger and starting our family, the Caveman and I both took pride in our gardening - planting vegetable and herb gardens, selecting native trees and getting the kids involved. We really enjoyed learning about various plants and watching things grow.

The only problem we had was that we lived out of town, in an area with very little rainfall, so it was hard to keep much of it alive - I built up some pretty impressive arm muscles carrying buckets of household water to the plants, after collecting it from the washing machine or shower. We couldn't afford to "waste" our good drinking water from the rainwater tank on it. It costs a lot of money to buy a load of water.

Unfortunately, between moving house a couple of times since then, raising the family and getting back into the workforce, we've both found we have less time and interest in gardening. As rental tenants especially, we just sort of maintain what's already there, with no real interest in adding to it at our own expense. Added to that is the fact that we are again living in the same area we were in all those years ago, relying on tank water with very little rainfall, so the garden really does look a bit neglected.

Recently we had a visit from the owner of our house, just to check on some work they'd had done. While they were here we talked about the gardens and agreed that they need some rejuvenating. After some discussion about how to do it as cheaply as possible, we came to an agreement about groundcovers. In particular, the succulent varieties. I usually struggle to keep groundcover plants alive, especially during the dry months, so I had kind of given up on them. I've never been a big fan of succulents either - I can't explain why. I'm not really prejudiced about plants, I promise! - but I've agreed it might be the answer to sprucing up the garden with very little money or water necessary.

As it turns out, lots of other people love succulents and most are very generous about sharing them. They are a great choice for a tight budget because you only need to take a small cutting (or break off a leaf) and plant it, and voila! a new plant grows. I'm actually enjoying gardening again, watching my baby cuttings grow and transplanting them into the mature gardens as soon as they're ready. It's not taking too much water to get them established, so most of them are doing well so far.

Fingers crossed my green thumb continues to thrive!

Animal House

Happy animal month! Actually, I don't think that's a thing ... but it sure feels like it at our house lately.

In recent times we've had an increase in animal activity around our area. Mostly it's been wildlife, hanging around a bit closer to the house because it's been so hot and dry that the only way they can get any decent water and food is to get closer to humans. These are the joys of living in a semi-rural area in a drought. We've been making sure there is plenty of water outside, in containers around the property and in the bird bath, so that all the animals can find refreshment. We throw food scraps into the gardens and hang overripe fruit in the trees. There has been a constant stream of various birds, as well as possums, bats, lizards, kangaroos, a large echidna and even a young carpet snake, so we're happy to help them out.

Well, the snake gave everyone a fright at first, but he's pretty harmless. To us, anyway.

We also have to be aware that, in the warmer weather of Spring, there are lots of animals moving around with no road sense whatsoever. I hit a young kangaroo just a few nights ago, with the front of my car. I wasn't going too fast and reacted quickly to hit the brakes. I felt the impact, but the roads in our neighbourhood are very quiet, so I was able to back the car up and get out to check on the animal - thankfully he seemed to be only stunned, rather than physically hurt. He sat for a couple of minutes, then hopped away as I approached him. The only damage to my car was a bent number plate, so I'm pleased we both seem to have had a lucky escape. 

Back to the story though, we've also made a change to our domestic animal situation. Since the end of 2017, the only pet we've had is our cat, Panda. She's named for her black and white coat (although I tell everyone it's because she was heading for the size of a panda before we put her on a diet!). A couple of days ago though, the Caveman happened to mention that he would consider having a second cat again. He's a cat lover, and even prefers cats over dogs. Anyway, the kids didn't need any extra encouragement ... immediately, our daughter said, "Really? Because we know of one that needs a home."

All the details came out - the cat belonged to a friend of the kids, who couldn't keep her anymore. No one seemed to know exactly how old she was (between 1 and 2 years?), or what breed, or how many kittens she's had (our son is certain he was aware of two litters). Her owner loved her, but wasn't in a position to provide the care she needed. So, on the strength of that and one photo we saw of her, we agreed to give her a chance.

Yes, it was a spontaneous decision. I could hear my Mum in my mind, lecturing me, even as I agreed the cat could come to us.

Anyway, she's been here for three days now and seems to have settled in well. She is very sweet and affectionate, although she and Panda are still deciding whether they'll be friends. I've booked her in to see the Vet for desexing, microchipping and all that responsible ownership stuff.

The really funny thing is that her name is Meerkat. So now we have Panda and Meerkat. We might only have two cats, but it sounds like we're starting up a zoo!

We Are The World

It's time for a rant. Sometimes, it's good to get feelings down on paper (or screen, lol).

Life has been ridiculously busy and stressful in recent times, so my blog has fallen to the bottom of the priorities list again. As stated in a previous post, I prefer to keep things light ... but then, if we're having a lot of ups and downs in life, I don't have much 'light' stuff to write about.

I also prefer to avoid political subjects. Generally. But today I'm breaking that rule.

Climate change protests. Okay, it's a big subject to leap into. But I've struggled with low mood over the past few days and, while there are many personal reasons for that, I've realised a big part of it is also that I've been upset by seeing so many people (mostly on social media) attacking children for simply standing up for what they believe in.

Calling them "brainwashed", making out they are controlled by their dictator teachers and parents. Never mind that this generation actually have more knowledge at their fingertips than any other generation before them. They are able to access arguments from both sides, they hear what the sceptics have to say too, including their own loved ones ... and they are intelligent enough to make up their own minds.

But it's so trendy to attack people openly now, especially over how children are raised. If we hover, we're "helicopter parenting" our kids. If we allow them more independence, we're creating little monsters who think they can get away with anything. If we tell them our views, we're not allowing them to have minds of their own. If we encourage them to research for themselves and form their own opinions, we're turning them into trouble makers.

Does that mean if our kids sit back and do nothing to change their world, we've raised them right? No, I don't think so (and then we're raising "a bunch of lazy, self-entitled brats").

I worry more about what kind of parent would teach their children that they shouldn't stand up for what they believe in? Humans wouldn't have made the advances we have if everyone just decided nothing had to change. No votes for women. No education for girls. No black people in "whites only" areas. We'd still be persecuting gay people simply for being who they are - which, of course, does still happen in some countries.

Activism can be disruptive (mostly to those who are comfortable with the status quo), and it forces people to confront issues they might not be comfortable with. Of course it suits everyone to think the climate is changing on its own and, even though I'm not a scientist, obviously there is a cycle that has gone on for centuries. It's easy to think there's nothing we can do about it. We all have enough going on already, right? But, while I've got no doubt that a fair amount of climate change is just nature taking its course, there's also no doubt that what humans do could have a big impact. That's the point these kids are making, in a nutshell.

I don't care about the day off school. The teachers knew it was coming and would have arranged lessons around it. The whole idea of a "strike" is to get attention - it's hard to do that on a weekend. Yes, many of the kids would have travelled to the demonstrations in air conditioned cars. Most cars have air con these days, and not at the kids' request. Maybe they drank water from plastic water bottles. That's often the easiest way to transport water to keep yourself hydrated - again, not invented by the kids (and reinforcing my previous point, the parents would be accused of neglect if the kids started dropping like flies from dehydration).

What's the worst that can happen if the kids are right and we pay attention? Instead of being alienated by them for dismissing their concerns, we may actually improve the only Earth we have to live on.

Loved Ones We Miss

Sometimes when I get up really early in the morning, I look around my kitchen and dining area, quiet before the start of the day, and allow myself to imagine my mum here. She used to pop up from Brisbane once or twice a year, generally for Christmas or some other occasion, for a visit. She was a fairly early riser, generally out of bed by about 6 am, and I'm usually not much later than that. We'd sit together in the mornings, have a coffee and chat while we watched the sun rising. It was my favourite part of her visits. That time in the mornings that we had all to ourselves before my kids or the Caveman got up and joined us.

It's been just over 18 months since we lost Mum and her birthday was just a few days ago. She would have loved the fact that she was turning 69 this year - with all the innuendo! She had a dirty sense of humour, which I often rolled my eyes at, but she would have run with that joke for ages.

Sometimes I miss her dreadfully. I could talk to her about anything - she really was my best friend and my sounding board. I mean, obviously my husband is too, but with Mum I could discuss issues that he either wasn't interested in, or was too close to be objective about. She didn't always have the answers, but then I didn't expect her to.

I miss being able to tell her all the little things that are going on in our lives; sharing milestones and celebrations with her - our eldest son's great season at cricket (one of her favourite sports) and being named Rookie of the Year for his new team. Our daughter's achievements in studying for the career she wants. Just seeing them become responsible and mature young adults would have brought her so much joy. Our youngest boy starting high school and passing my height at the tender age of 11. I am officially the shortest member of the family now! She would have laughed at that.

I reassure myself that she's watching and is aware of all these things anyway, but nothing comes close to actually being able to talk to her and hear her voice. I find myself feeling sorry for people who didn't get to meet her, and I remember feeling that way after my husband's father passed away too. No matter how well you try to describe someone, you feel like you can't capture them enough for the other person to really 'get' who they were. My father-in-law would have been 89 today - his birthday was only three days after my Mum's. He's been gone for nine years, but it still feels like it hasn't been that long. A lot has happened in that time though. When he passed, we were struggling with the Caveman being unable to work and me being at home full-time as well, trying to raise three children aged 10 and under - with hardly any income. To see how far we've come, with our qualifications and jobs, as well as how the kids have grown and what they've each achieved, would have made him so proud.

We also very recently lost a man who the Caveman considered to be his best friend. He had been ill for a while, so we knew it was coming, but it was still very upsetting to the whole family when he passed. It may seem like we've had a lot of sadness in recent years, and it's true that each person has left a hole that can't be filled by anyone else. However, when I think of the people we've lost, the memories that dominate are their humour and ability to see the funny or optimistic side of just about anything.

They're good memories to have - and a lovely way to remember anyone who is no longer with us.

Old Bird

I had a funny moment at work a few days ago. I was at an elderly client's home, preparing his lunch for him, when he commented, 'you know, you've still got an alright figure for an old bird.'

Well! I took a moment to get over my shock at the 'old bird' bit and thanked him, with a bit of a chuckle. He'd obviously meant it as a compliment. I also chose not to point out to him just how much older than me he is! But it got me thinking about age. Like most people in their mid forties, I still feel like I'm much younger. If I had to put a number on it, I'd say I feel like I'm about thirty. I can't explain why - maybe it's that my health hasn't changed much since about that age. I still feel like I have a fairly youthful attitude to life in general too, which helps.

I forget sometimes that I'm from a different generation to my children. We have a close relationship and agree on most things, so to have them remind me occasionally that I don't really 'get' what they're talking about is always a bit of a surprise. Perfectly normal of course - I remember doing the same with my Mum (who was very young at heart). She never showed offence, which was lovely, and I try to do the same for my kids. They won't know how young they'll still feel in their forties until they get there, so it's not something to take too personally. I laugh it off and remind them that they'll be 'old' too one day.

I remember when the Caveman and I were first together and he took me to meet his Dad, who was an older father and already in his sixties then. He was still working part time and kept very active, doing all his own work around the house and yard. Some of his attitudes were outdated, and he could be a stubborn old man when it came to his opinions, but he was another 'young at heart' type. He generally had a good sense of humour and enjoyed conversation with people of all ages. He and my mother got on brilliantly and were good friends until his death, many years later - I always felt they both recognised a kindred spirit in each other.

I guess I went through a period of feeling older after my Mum passed away and I was grieving. I struggled to stay active outside of work and ate too much of the wrong things, then discovered after a couple of months that I would get breathless just going for a short walk. That threw me into a bit of a panic, so I improved my diet and lifestyle after that and lost the little bit of weight I'd put on. My general health has improved and I move more easily, which also helps with mental health.

So, old men's opinions aside, I still feel young. Besides, I can always take comfort in the fact that even now, when strangers ring the house, they'll sometimes say to me, 'Can I speak to your mum or dad please?' I may be getting older but I think my voice missed the memo!