When I first started my blog, in 2013, it was with the intention of getting some practice with my creative writing. Blogging as a publishing medium had really taken off at that time and a lot of people were making money from it. Not me - I wasn't in it to make money and I never thought my little blog about our family life would take off to that extent anyway. It was just a great way to record entertaining moments from our life, mostly for friends and family to read, and I thought if it amused anyone else who came across it online that would just be a bonus.
I haven't blogged since the beginning of 2024, a full two years ago. I almost can't believe that much time has passed. When I looked back over the 11 years that I wrote my blog - and it was only a few times a year - I noticed that the mood changed. I started out sharing funny moments, but over time it became difficult to keep a light tone. We lost loved ones along the way, the kids were dealing with various teenage and personal issues, our financial situation was often insecure and we were struggling within our marriage at times. There were less and less funny moments to share. I'm also very respectful of my childrens' privacy, so I didn't want to share too much of what any of them might be dealing with at any particular time - and sometimes their problems were too big for me to put aside to focus on humour. It became a chore and it was easier to just not write anything.
Now, the blog is about me. We are into a new year. I am single, having separated from the Caveman last April. It was very amicable as he wasn't happy either. We mutually agreed to part ways and have managed to stay good friends, which is a great bonus. I still live with my daughter, Miss T, and her three year old toddler, Little J. My youngest son, Mr D, is now an adult and still lives at home too. My older son, Mr A, lives a couple of hours away but visits regularly. The house is much calmer with less people in it, but I am still finding my feet. I have set up our smaller living area as "my" space, a living room just for me. It means that Miss T and Little J can have the main lounge area for themselves and we're not under each other's noses all the time. Mr D has his room in the back of the house and still mostly lives like a teenager, only appearing for food, so he's not really in the way at all.
We've just come through a busy Christmas period, with lots of family visiting. This included the Caveman, who only lives a few minutes away and usually calls in weekly to see the kids anyway. It was like all our previous big family Christmases, except for the fact that he went back to his place in the afternoon.
After 30 years as a wife and mother, I'm looking forward, wondering what my future holds. Like many women in my position, I was so busy looking after everyone else that I lost myself along the way. When the Caveman moved out, I realised that so much of what we owned was what he had chosen. Our furniture was all laid out in a way that suited him. I didn't even know what I liked to watch on TV any more, I'd always just gone along with what he or the kids chose. That's not to say that I had no choice in any of this. I simply fell into the habit of putting everyone else first. Now I'm thinking about what I want and reshaping my life to suit me. I've bought some new things for the house and rearranged what was already here. It's not always easy ... of course my financial situation has taken a hit. Some of those "new things" I bought have come from our fantastic local second hand stores. I also have had bouts of loneliness and some really "down" days while I've come to terms with everything - questioning my life path, our parenting over the years, even wondering if we should have just let go of the marriage sooner. We were always so proud of making each anniversary, but I wonder now if stepping away earlier might have been healthier for all of us?
I'm very patient with myself though. I am aware that these are all normal emotions to work through and it's probably natural to question every choice I ever made. I've made other changes to create a new life for myself too. I've always been comfortable with my own company, so I take time to chill out on my own with a book or in the garden, but I've also intentionally brought more friends back into my life and make sure I get out of the house regularly for coffee or lunch dates. I also take myself to local events that interest me, even if it means going alone - such as to the recent 50th anniversary screening of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" at our local cinema.
One of the biggest things I did in 2025 was travel on my own for the first time in decades, to visit my friend in Western Australia again, three years after our last visit. This time she picked me up at the airport and we headed straight off on a road trip, 12 hours North. We stopped overnight and at various scenic spots along the way, then arrived and spent three days at beautiful Coral Bay, swimming, snorkeling on the reef and just relaxing. I loved seeing more of the outback landscape that was reminiscent of where we'd lived as kids (The Pilbara), although it would have been a lot more driving to go that far! We stopped overnight again on the way back, as well as more "touristing" through different areas. I had the best holiday, with my dear friend who encouraged me to talk through everything, and it was exactly what I needed. I love my friend, obviously, but I also love WA and would happily holiday there every year with her if my budget allowed.
More locally, I've also done a couple of house-sits for friends, looking after their homes (and pets!) while they were out of town for a week or three. I will continue to do this whenever the opportunity arises. It gets me out of our house entirely, giving my daughter and granddaughter the place mostly to themselves for the time that I'm gone, and I get to relax as though I'm on holiday somewhere. It's a win-win.
So this year is about me. I don't know how often I'll blog, or if it will be funny when I do. I'm just taking each day as it comes and enjoying the journey.
