Recently our eldest son helped some friends move house. He packed their belongings into his van - which also doubles as his bedroom when he's visiting us - and drove it 2 hours away to their new home. Last week he used that same van to help me clear out our garage and take a lot of unwanted items to the tip. He's in between permanent jobs (and accommodation) at the moment, so he picked up some casual work while he's visiting us and I know when he finds something more long-term he'll move to wherever he has to in order to make it work.
Before going to work this morning, our daughter handed over her baby to her ex-partner for his usual access visit. When she gets home from work this afternoon, before baby comes home again, she'll also be studying (as she works as an apprentice hairdresser). She's a fantastic mum. She co-parents well with her ex and our baby granddaughter is thriving.
These things sound pretty mundane in the grand scheme of things, but it has suddenly struck me how grown up both "kids" are now. I'm impressed by their work ethic, as well as their ability to just get in and do what has to be done - whether it's helping others or doing jobs around our house, or adjusting to single parenthood and all the responsibilities that go with it.
We also love spending time with them on more of a "peer" level. They're not just our children any more, they're our friends. People we've raised, who happen to share some of our interests, our sense of humour and enjoy spending time with us. We can all do separate things every night of the week, but still enjoy all sitting together in front of a Harry Potter movie too.
Of course this includes our younger son, who is now nearly 16. Like his older siblings when they were his age, he doesn't love school. We've started talking about what his other options might be and we're prepared for the fact that he may choose to find a job and leave school entirely. That's okay with us, we've been through it before with the older two and they both found their own way. We know he will be okay too, whatever path he chooses.
We still parent them too much at times; helping out when they could manage for themselves, or giving advice when they don't really want it ... but there is also so much joy and pride in seeing them become self-sufficient adults.
It's good sometimes to just take a step back and admire them, for how far they've come and how much they've learned along the way - and for the fact that our "little" boys are now both over 6 feet tall and have matching beards!
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